Are You Too Polite For Networking?

Do you consider yourself a polite person? If someone brought you to their house, would you keep your elbows off the table and come off as a personal, well-rounded person who doesn’t hog the conversation?

Many polite people struggle with how to be effective in networking situations like conferences and meetings. The reality is, being polite and an effective networker can be difficult to balance

 

The characteristics of polite people

Polite people are often the ones who:

• allow others to go first
• prefer to talk about others, but not themselves
• don’t interrupt conversations
• are generous in giving credit to others

In other words, polite people are often meek networkers.

Polite people are at a disadvantage at networking events

When I speak with many new networkers, here is how polite ones sabotage themselves when they walk into a room.

Other people are already standing in groups talking animatedly, so they don’t want to break into any of the existing conversation circles.

They wait to be acknowledged, and when it comes their turn to talk, they give a very short response and turn the conversation back to others. The conversation moves on.

They also may get trapped in a conversation for a whole night. After all, how do you break away from a conversation?

In the meantime, they are politely helping others speak, filling in their stories by asking questions and responding to their thoughts.

And at the end of the day, polite people know all about other people, but wonder why they never got a chance to tell their own story.

Attitude makes all the difference

If you’re one of those polite people, then I’d suggest shifting your attitude on networking. Networking events are not like dinner at a friend’s house. The rules are different, and the attitude which you approach it with should be different as well.

Everyone at a networking event understands that the implicit goal of the event should be getting to know more people, and finding mutual ways to benefit from each other. It’s okay to excuse yourself from a group, take up some air-time to talk about what you’re working on, and invite yourself into conversations.

Being polite in a networking setting follows different criteria. You should be:

• including others in the conversation
• asking questions, and answering them, for an active give and take exchange
• sharing advice and insights to help others
• remembering you and following up

How have you found networking success? Would love to hear about it in the comments!